A large Waiting game

Waking up after a horrible dream of losing the baby... Sitting up in bed wondering if im still pregnant.... Will i keep it? IS it alive? taking each day agonizing about wether I will have that all too familar feeling. The pop the drip the fear...I can close my eyes and remember that night. Like it was yesterday. And i keep dreaming of it. Fearing it. Day after day I worry am I doing something wrong am i lifting something to heavy. Am i eating enough? is it healthy? I just dont know shit and its driving me apsolutely crazy... Now off to bed

Tired

After 7 months of complete critiicism over everything I do say or think, Iv decided to transfer my deepest thoughts here in hopes of letting go of some long time pent up anger and hurt. Lets see how this works. For the few of u I let in. Thank you for sticking by me.